I just read this in this month's Reader's Digest and had to post it. I found it quite amusing after I had translated it back to English... I almost had to get a Bible to make sure I was remembering them correctly!!
If God had texted the Ten Commandments to Moses:
M, pls rite on tabs & give to ppl
1. no1 b4 me. srsly.
2. dnt wrshp pix/idols
3. no omg's
4 no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
5. pos ok - ur m&d r cool
6. dnt kill ppl
7. :-X only w/ m8
8. dnt steal
9. dnt lie re: bf
10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.
-Jamie Quatro on mcsweeneys.net
Monday, May 24, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Pictures
I have a lot of pictures that I want to post. I'm going to post a few here and the rest will be on the kids' pages. Be sure to check them out!!
In order of appearance: Momma and Londyn; Momma and Zander; Momma and Kyzer; Janessa, Momma and Hailey; Nanny, Zander and Kyzer (Can you tell what side of the camera Douglas is always on?!?)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
If it ain't broke, don't fix it...
But it is "broke". It took me 5 days, but I finally bit the bullet and did the right thing. Ok, here's the story...
It started this past Thursday evening. We have a basketball goal that hangs on an inside door. Kyzer plays all the time, but since it's so high, he decided to get a little closer by standing on one of his kiddie chairs, which added all of an extra 10 inches. It went out from under him and he landed awkwardly on his arm. When I picked him up (he was crying hard, of course), his left arm was bent behind him at a weird angle. I thought he'd dislocated his shoulder. When we could both talk again, he said his wrist hurt. It wasn't swollen; he could move it in all directions, and he was able to squeeze my fingers, so I didn't think it was broken. It didn't even bruise, so I eliminated a sprain as well. I figured he had hyperextended his wrist and was going to be sore for a while, but kept a sharp eye on him.
He didn't eat supper, which is odd for him. He's a true boy, eating at every opportunity and then some. He held his arm, protecting it with his body. I called a friend, asking for her opinion. Our friend is a pediatric nurse and her husband is a doctor of some sort. (The exact kind of medicine he practices escapes me right now, but he knows bones. He is not an orthopedic doctor, though.) They came over and looked at Kyzer's wrist. They said there were no bones displaced, but, if it were a greenstick fracture, it wouldn't show on the x-ray for about 48 hours anyway.
The next morning (Friday), he seemed much better, still not using his arm much, but not protecting it, either. He fell off his scooter around lunch time, landing with some weight on his arm. He cried hard again, but ate and had a good nap. Then he fell over a stool that night, landing with his full weight on it. That really hurt. It still didn't swell, so I still wasn't sure if it were broken. I was still stuck on the hyperextended theory.
The weekend was fine. He didn't fall and I thought he would be fine. We kept him fairly tied down so he wouldn't fall again and make things worse. Well, it was too good to last. Monday right before lunch he was standing on a stool watching me cook and he fell off, again landing with full weight on his wrist. He didn't eat lunch ("I just don't feel very good, Momma.") and I noticed swelling just behind the wrist joint.
I was up early the next morning (Tuesday) with the twins (they decided it was time to start their day at 4:00 for some strange reason), and did some research on greenstick fractures. (I know, I know- should have done that a lot sooner, right?!?) In all my learning, I realized that his wrist was swollen where his growth plates are and I didn't want to compromise those. I also realized he still wasn't using his arm much and couldn't bear weight on it. It just wasn't getting better.
So, I took him to Children's Mercy last night where we spent 3 hours learning that he had a minor radial fracture. I explained to him that they were going to have to take pictures of his bones, but they wouldn't hurt. In all honesty, he asked, "Do I have to smile?" He has a wonderfully bright yellow splint on for the time being, and thinks he's pretty cool. In an hour, Daddy is taking him to get his cast. He will have to wear it for 3 to 6 weeks, depending on doctor's orders.
He's not in any pain, and I'm having a hard time keeping him from flying around acting goofy. I've been tempted to duct tape his bottom to the couch! Now that it's in a splint and he doesn't have to protect it, he's making up for lost time by acting crazier than normal. Ah, the joys of little boys!
It started this past Thursday evening. We have a basketball goal that hangs on an inside door. Kyzer plays all the time, but since it's so high, he decided to get a little closer by standing on one of his kiddie chairs, which added all of an extra 10 inches. It went out from under him and he landed awkwardly on his arm. When I picked him up (he was crying hard, of course), his left arm was bent behind him at a weird angle. I thought he'd dislocated his shoulder. When we could both talk again, he said his wrist hurt. It wasn't swollen; he could move it in all directions, and he was able to squeeze my fingers, so I didn't think it was broken. It didn't even bruise, so I eliminated a sprain as well. I figured he had hyperextended his wrist and was going to be sore for a while, but kept a sharp eye on him.
He didn't eat supper, which is odd for him. He's a true boy, eating at every opportunity and then some. He held his arm, protecting it with his body. I called a friend, asking for her opinion. Our friend is a pediatric nurse and her husband is a doctor of some sort. (The exact kind of medicine he practices escapes me right now, but he knows bones. He is not an orthopedic doctor, though.) They came over and looked at Kyzer's wrist. They said there were no bones displaced, but, if it were a greenstick fracture, it wouldn't show on the x-ray for about 48 hours anyway.
The next morning (Friday), he seemed much better, still not using his arm much, but not protecting it, either. He fell off his scooter around lunch time, landing with some weight on his arm. He cried hard again, but ate and had a good nap. Then he fell over a stool that night, landing with his full weight on it. That really hurt. It still didn't swell, so I still wasn't sure if it were broken. I was still stuck on the hyperextended theory.
The weekend was fine. He didn't fall and I thought he would be fine. We kept him fairly tied down so he wouldn't fall again and make things worse. Well, it was too good to last. Monday right before lunch he was standing on a stool watching me cook and he fell off, again landing with full weight on his wrist. He didn't eat lunch ("I just don't feel very good, Momma.") and I noticed swelling just behind the wrist joint.
I was up early the next morning (Tuesday) with the twins (they decided it was time to start their day at 4:00 for some strange reason), and did some research on greenstick fractures. (I know, I know- should have done that a lot sooner, right?!?) In all my learning, I realized that his wrist was swollen where his growth plates are and I didn't want to compromise those. I also realized he still wasn't using his arm much and couldn't bear weight on it. It just wasn't getting better.
So, I took him to Children's Mercy last night where we spent 3 hours learning that he had a minor radial fracture. I explained to him that they were going to have to take pictures of his bones, but they wouldn't hurt. In all honesty, he asked, "Do I have to smile?" He has a wonderfully bright yellow splint on for the time being, and thinks he's pretty cool. In an hour, Daddy is taking him to get his cast. He will have to wear it for 3 to 6 weeks, depending on doctor's orders.
He's not in any pain, and I'm having a hard time keeping him from flying around acting goofy. I've been tempted to duct tape his bottom to the couch! Now that it's in a splint and he doesn't have to protect it, he's making up for lost time by acting crazier than normal. Ah, the joys of little boys!
In his splint- he loved the color! This was taken with my phone- pardon the quality (or lack thereof).
In his cast
Didn't take him long to get back on the scooter!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Only Janessa
Janessa came downstairs tonight with her pj's on backwards. Teasing her, I said, "You're head is on backwards!"
Her quick as a flash reply?
"What head?!?"
Her quick as a flash reply?
"What head?!?"
Friday, May 7, 2010
Happy Mother's Day!!!
Happy Mother's Day to all my wonderful friends that are mothers! The following was sent to me by my best friend's mother. Maybe our kids know us better than we think!!!
WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did your mom need to know about your dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did your mom need to know about your dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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